Sometimes I feel…

I often feel like I don’t react to things the same way that everybody else does. Sometimes this concerns me…and other times I find it a blessing.

Like when I watch a gruesome horror movie and everybody else is doing this:

but I am doing this:

Or when most women think about their future, they picture motherhood like this:

But when I think about ever having children, I feel like this:

It’s not often that someone is understanding when they hear that I have no interest in ever being a mother. My parents have and will continue to believe that I will choose to get pregnant one day. My friends say I will change my mind, that I am young and I haven’t met THE ONE. When anybody says that to me, this is what I’m thinking:

Well, whatever. When they all have to change nappies all day long filled with faeces, I will laugh as I enjoy a lie in with clean hands. A face like this is not cute to me, it does not nor will ever bring out any kind of long dormant maternal instinct:

I would much rather cuddle up to something like this each night:

How anyone could find the former more appealing than the latter is something I cannot comprehend. This is why I will be an old cat lady and why I will be happy. Besides, there are so many children already in this world who need parents, why should I have to push one out of a tiny little orifice when I don’t have to.

I’m not like most people. I have no interest in “furthering my lineage” or some such nonsense. I’m just fine pretending some random kid is mine. I would treat any child just the same. Not to say I would be a good parent. I had once hoped I would be a teacher of young and fertile minds until I actually started my Masters in Education and realised that I actually didn’t like children at all. If I don’t want to spend my days with them, why on Earth would I willingly spend my life with one. Those things are expensive as well. I’ll just have nice holidays instead or invest in some property and if I’m feeling maternal then I can babysit someone else’s kids or something.

That works much better for me.

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