Aaaaaaaaaaand Valentines Day is here again…

Valentines Day.

Need one say more?

I should just leave this post at that.


But I won’t.

Valentines Day is an excuse for massive conglomerates to make billions of money. All the stupid people in the world believe that their love isn’t worth shit unless once a year their significant other positively showers them with heart shaped crap. All that will happen is that this heart shaped crap will be shoved down their insecure throats until it makes them fat and then BOOM, diet fads will convince them to lose all that weight before next Valentines Day rolls around. If someone loves me, they can tell me themselves. It’s three words. I love you. I won’t believe you any more if you say it with a card that has a giant puppy on the front or a ridiculous teddy bear.

This is how I will feel when the day is over:


True Love. Love is just a chemical imbalance. It’s lust and the body deceiving itself into believing that the urge to procreate is something spiritual. Yeah whatever. I’m all for lust. Give me lust any day.


Actually, it’s more like this:


So to all you girls out there who cannot wait to spend Valentines Day with their special guy doing something ohsoromantic:


All you sad Valentine’s Day fiends are probably openly shouting at this post and saying that I’m a sad bitter singleton and it would be different if I were in love. No. Although:


When you think about it like that it becomes a whole different ball game. Well you know what guys?



I hope you have an expensive day. I will be saving my leave from work for something I actually give a crap about. Which means I will spend my whole day wishing every single person that walks into my shop a Happy Valentine’s Day.


As much as you wish this is what I will be doing Valentine’s Day evening:





I won’t. Because even though it confuses a lot of people (my mother especially), I actually like being single. Relationships just aren’t my thing. So all you people, you enjoy V.D (Coincidence? I think not) and I’ll get on with my life.

Ah, love.



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