Why grammar is so important…

Yes.

Grammar.

As in “the system of rules implicit in a language, viewed as a mechanism for generating all sentences possible in that language”.

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There is so much wrong with this.

I can just feel the judgement seething off your bodies and floating towards me like a swarm of killer bees. Literally. NO NOT LITERALLY! BECAUSE THEN I WOULD DIE. Probably. Depends if they’d make it all the way here and find where I live. It’s not like they can read Google maps. Or maybe they can. You never know. They were pretty smart in Bee Movie. See, look: this one even has glasses!

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Let me guess, you’re thinking that I am a nerd with glasses who watches Star Trek and reads books about grammar FOR FUN! Yes, I do wear glasses. Sometimes. And they’re prescription too!

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Yes I like Star Trek. My brother even bought me Seasons 1 and 2 of Voyager so now I can even say I own it and everything! And I like it hipster style (as in before it was cool) and not just because it became a big blockbuster with Chris Pine and all the ladies in the world collectively swooned. I might even be able to say literally here.

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My grammar  is by no means perfect. I have ended many a sentence with a preposition. I have started many a sentence with a ‘but’ or an ‘and’. See, I even made a grammatical error JUST THEN! This kind of thing is acceptable to me. Bestselling authors do it. Though really, that’s not saying much because Twilight and 50 Shades of Grey were bestsellers and if anyone has read them (you know who you are) then you will know that those novels sure as shit aren’t great examples of literature. Pretty much any idiot can get published nowadays.

Anyway, back to the subject at hand. Grammar. It seriously bugs me when people use bad grammar.

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It’s not even that hard. I may have studied it at University but it’s not like I didn’t know how to use it properly beforehand. I did go to school and not even a Private School. A Public/State School. Yet I can tell the difference between your and you’re. How is it that nobody else seems to understand? It’s not like I’ve ever considered myself to be superior in the intelligence department…but perhaps I am and I just never knew it until now. GO ME!

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I must admit, I have become one of those people that corrects others. I am what is now known as a Grammar Nazi.

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Not an actual Nazi. That would be bad. People may find me irritating for correcting their grammar but it’s not like I’m systematically eradicating their entire family.

Unfortunately a lot of people don’t see it that way. They see it this way:

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Really? Seriously?

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It’s not just grammar either. It’s just plain stupidity. It’s not as if idiocy has increased. There have always been dumb people. It’s just that we didn’t have the Internet before and so I never had to witness it.

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Not only can people not use grammar properly but they can’t spell either. And they don’t even know that the film Titanic was based on actual events (with a lot of poetic license).

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See how I used Star Trek there too? Yeah that was intentional.

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Yes, because that would be illegal in many places.

So there you go. Use grammar properly or I will track you down and insult your intelligence. Or lack of it. And then I will judge you.

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