Common White Girl Tag…

So I saw a YouTube video of someone doing this and at first I was like:

wth

But then I was like:

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So here you go, my personal bloggy interpretation of the common white girl tag.

1. Favourite Starbucks drink?

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Ok so I’m not American, I hate coffee and I’m also trying to rage against the system here, so take your representation of modern capitalist values and shove it up your billionaire asses.

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2. How long does it take for you to get ready in the morning?

Depends, how clean do I have to be? If the answer is the same kind of clean you normally are then 20 minutes. Most of that is me reading memebase while I eat my cereal. If there is the possibility that I will encounter someone of a sexy persuasion then perhaps an hour because I always fall asleep in the shower. I know, shit just got real.

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And I might watch an episode of Community to prepare myself for the day.

slow-walk

3. How many selfies do you take on a daily basis?

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Seriously? People still take selfies? Should I fluff my hair and stick out my boobs? Will people like me more if I cover my face with makeup and then #nomakeup #nofilter #ihavelowselfesteem #whydoesnobodylovemeforwhoiamontheinside ?? THE ANSWER IS NONE PEOPLE!

4. How many instagram followers and pics do you have?

167 pictures…most of those are pictures of my cat. Mmmhmm. 12 followers and I don’t even understand how that happened. I think it must be NSA employees, perhaps they’re concerned about how many pictures I take of cats. They do look super professional though.

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5. Do you ever say LOL or OMG out loud?

Well I laugh and I say ohmygod on occasion. I do say hashtag yolo all the time though. I’M SAYING IT IRONICALLY PEOPLE!

Shaq

6. Do you wear the same item of clothing more than once?

Dry clean only means never clean EVER. Hand wash means I will not clean you for 6 months until there is a distinct smell emanating from your beautifulness. Then you will be put in the washing machine coz ain’t nobody got time to hand wash.

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Clothes only need to be washed when they smell. Except underwear. I’m not a savage, guys. Besides, washing machines in my apartment building cost money and I’m seriously poor. This is what the real world is like.

7. Are you racist?

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I like, totally can’t be racist because Abed is so my favourite character is Community.

abed-test

8. How many tweets do you have?

Uh, none? You have to have Twitter to post tweets. And I’m like, way too hipster for Twitter.

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9. Instagram, Twitter or Tumblr.

No.

contempt

10. What do you spend most of your time doing?

Reading books. Watching TV, films and the drug dealer across the road. Contemplating whether people could actually make candles with their ear wax like Shrek does. Oh and dreaming of world peace. But mostly the candle thing.

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11. Who are your favourite YouTubers?

Jenna Marbles and DailyGrace.

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12. How often do you do your nails?

Once a year. Maybe. I just took off nail varnish that has been on my toes for months. My toenails are yellow. It’s a super sexy look.

13. Are you a shopaholic?

If you’re talking about anything other than books and DVDs then no. If you’re talking about books and DVDs then yes.

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14. How many times have you watched Mean Girls?

Seriously? This is what determines how white you are? THAT MOVIE IS A CLASSIC. REGARDLESS OF GENDER OR RACE!

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15. Do you own a lot of clothes?

Didn’t we just do this? No. I’m getting bored now. Next question.

16. Do you take pictures of your food before you eat it?

NO, AND FOOD PORN MUST BE STOPPED! If anyone shows up foodporning on my Facebook news feed then I will henceforth block them from showing up ever again (or until they change the privacy settings) on my news feed.

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17. Do you wear makeup every day?

Depends how lazy I’m feeling. Or if there is a person of a sexy nature involved in my plans for the day/evening. Or if I want to make my face look like a different face. One without a nose perhaps.

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18. What are your average grades in school.

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Now I feel old. I finished school almost a decade ago.

19. How do you usually style your hair?

By not brushing it and hoping no one will notice.

20. Do you always look presentable?

From my previous answers, do I even need to answer this? The answer is yes, I always look tip top sexylicious. Duh.

washe

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Ok lovely people, I hope this has been somewhat less terrible than having a wisdom tooth removed. I’ll leave you with this piece of wisdom.

-3 10.41.06 PM

This celery has places to be. Peace out.

-1 10.41.08 PM

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