Sometimes I wonder if it’s just me, but in this day and age of food-porn Instragramming and Selfies, I’m imagining that I can’t be alone.
I. Am. A Music Poser.
I just made that up but it’s true.
I love music. I cannot leave my apartment without some kind of music-playing device and usually there is something musical on in the background while I do basically anything.
Ventriloquy is a particular habit of mine.
I have fairly eclectic taste and I enjoy many a different style of music.
That’s not true, I have no idea who the last guy is…
However, I find that if I know someone can hear what I’m listening to, I’ll play music that I think will make me look super awesome and cool.
I can say this because I know with almost blinding certainty, that my housemate does not read this blog but whenever my door is open and I can hear her wandering around the apartment, I’ll play something really alternative and slightly hipster-ish because I know she likes it and it makes me look shit hot.
If I want to listen to Weird Al Yankovic, I’ll close the door…
If I know there are guys around, I’ll listen to Punk or Hard Rock because then I seem relatable and like one of those chicks that plays computer games and shit. I don’t. I used to watch my brother play them though and that’s basically the same. Plus, I played multiplayer Donkey Kong, Mario Kart and Goldeneye and that’s just as good.
I’ve even been known to pull out Seeed.
I love this band so it’s not really a hardship for me to listen to them but I do think liking a German Reggaeton band makes me sound fucking hardcore cool. Like Horatio Caine from C.S.I putting on his sunglasses cool.
It’s not like I have a playlist of songs that I save for the appropriate audience, but I do listen to things based on who I know can hear. Like in high school, I’d turn my music up on public transport so loud that my headphones would basically broadcast that shit to the whole bus (gee, so surprising I have Tinitus now). I would listen to Blink 182, Green Day, Papa Roach and Linkin Park and figure that everyone must just be so goddamn impressed with how ice cool I was.
That doesn’t mean that I don’t want to listen to any of the above bands when I know I can’t be heard. In fact, that would just give me more opportunity to sing along loudly with them.
However, I remain aware of my audience and I think that makes me a poser. And for this, I am embarrassed and ashamed.
Though obviously not ashamed enough to not tell the (now 70) followers I have. Wonderful people you are. I’m sure you won’t judge me. Much.
And now if you don’t mind, I’m still sick, so I’m going back to sleep. Again. At 12:29pm.