Why is it that you can breathe quite easily through your nose throughout the day –
no dramas, no leaks, no blockages
– yet as soon as you’re all snuggled up in bed and ready to sleep, your nose blocks the shit up, and you have to start breathing exclusively through your mouth?
Why is that?
It’s like you’re having an open relationship with your nose and mouth, and as soon as the bed is involved, the mouth is like no, you ain’t gonna cheat on me. Your mouth then mindfucks your body so that you can no longer rely on your nostrils for oxygen in order to continue your existence on Earth.
It’s all down to your motherfucking mouth. You’d think that a lifetime of breathing would allow the orifice to be able to do its job well but NO.
You cannot breathe for long periods of time exclusively through your talking-hole unless you have a fetish for cotton mouth.
Then you have to keep waking up every five seconds to drink water, which in turn means you have to go pee several times in the middle of the night.
I just want to sleep but NO, I can’t sleep when I can’t breathe properly. Dammit, why does my nose hate me so much?!
It would probably help if I didn’t watch a sad movie before bed.
Yeah. I’ll work on that another time. Now I have to watch the last episode of Season 1 of Game of Thrones before I head to sleep. That’ll be fine, right?