I just turned off my lights and snuggled up in bed to sleep.
All was peaceful and quiet.
And then my arm tickled.
It was a cockroach.
Crawling on me while I was in my safe place. I feel so violated.
I jumped up and turned the light on. Managed to catch the bastard motherfucker crawling into a hidey hole. And now sleep is no more.
I WILL NEVER SLEEP AGAIN
Or at least not until I kill this cockroach. Now the bugger is hiding in a nook on my bed somewhere and I will have to take a flamethrower to my nice 1000 thread count Egyptian cotton bedsheets.
OHMYGOD I saw it again on my bedside table but I missed squishing it by half an inch and NOW IT’S GONE AGAIN.
It’s like Saw except way more scary.
This cockroach wants to play a game with me. And I will not sleep until I win and it is dead.