Yet again, I haven’t posted in a looooooong time. Sorry about that, people.
I should really just stop apologising and saying I’ll do better. Let’s be honest. I probably won’t. It seems every post I’m making spends entirely too much time apologising and not enough time actually talking about interesting shit you all want to read about.
STOP LYING TO YOURSELF
I then deleted Tinder when I read about a woman who met a date in a public place and was promptly gang raped. It was something that could have happened to anybody but somehow, I just knew in my soul that it was Tinder’s fault that she was in that situation. Yeah I know that’s stupid. I panicked.
Dating still sucks but I feel like I am improving, even if I still need to take anti-anxiety drugs before going on one. Only the first date though, I’m not an addict. I can actually survive in social situations without the aid of medication.
I did thoroughly enjoy the male selfies though. They were just terrible. If any man thinks that the below picture will get him laid, well then, gender stereotypes about stupid men are not always wrong.
I didn’t get my moment of glory to take on the roll of disgusted female fighting back against the misogynistic dick who had the audacity to use a terrible pick-up line on her. Nope. The only people who talked to me were normal, mostly polite men. Sadly disappointing. And I wanted so much to have a funny story for you guys.
You let me down, Tinder guys.
Work on that.
Apart from that, I’ve been pretty busy. You know, living my life and shit.
Cause that’s just how I roll.
Despite being doped up on several different kinds of antibiotics (second case of Tonsilitis in a week…yay) I’m heading over to a bar soon to play ‘Cards against Humanity’ and catch up on the latest gossip.
Has anyone ever played ‘Cards Against Humanity’ before?
If you have then you know exactly how awesome this game is.
Its tagline is ‘a party game for horrible people’.
Terrible people unite! We finally have a chance to be as inappropriate as we have always dreamed!
It encourages players to be suuuuuuuuper politically incorrect in all the wrong (but it feels so right) ways.
PS – everybody loves a good homoerotic volleyball montage
It’s about the only thing Top Gun is good for
Anyway, better get going, unicorns. Gotta love ya and leave ya.
Also, sorry. This post just isn’t that funny (in my humble but probably right opinion). Let’s just say it’s because I’m out of practice, what with all that living I’ve been doing lately. Or I’m losing my once great humor. Or that.
I guess I’ll just find a sad place to spend my life now. In defeat.
In the mean time, farewell for now, sexy friends!